The world through my American eyes

I think I might have covered this before and in that case you'll just have to bare with me, I'm getting older and perhaps senility is a part of the process.

Anyway, the topic here is what if...

I feel a bit torn between emotions right now you see, I have my wonderful fiancé here and my adorable children and grandson (we shall now call him Jafar for the time being). They all represent the present and I would truely die without them. They are my very reason to get out of bed every morning. On the other hand I have my loving family in America who represent a past I never really experienced. An alternate past you might say and I love them and miss them so terribly.

So you see, my emotions are going back and forth all the time between the past and the present. A part of me wishes I had never left while another, the aware and sensible part of me realizes that if I hadn't I would probably never have become who I am today with the loving people who surround me over here.

Still, if things had been any different I probably would have packed my bags and left this place to be with my "other family". Not that I wish that things really where different, I love the people around me too much. I just wish there was a way to do both.

Love you all