The world through my American eyes

Some days it really feels like I'm in the middle of a game show. "You've already won this and that and if you answer the next question correctly you'll win the grand prize". The other day I won a new (well she's actually the oldest, but new to me) aunt I had forgotten all about. Sorry about that Joan, I'm just as exited about you as about Chris and Diana though, don't worry about that =)

Although I already feel like the grand prize winner it also makes me a bit sad. What if things had been differently? I try to avoid looking at the past and wonder about things that might have the other way around, but lately I've thought about it a lot. What if we had never moved to Sweden. Would I have been any different if I'd had my american family with me all along? Would I have been better or worst, or just the same? Well probably not the same, I figure that events in my past has shaped me into who I am today.

If possible, would I go back and change the past? I really don't know to be true. Sometimes I wish that it was possible. There is so much to try to catch up with it really makes my head spin some days.

It's probably a good thing that it isn't possible though so I'll never have to decide what the best path would be to go. Anyway, I love you all a lot and I sure as hell miss you even more.